Olandezul Manfred F.R. Kets de Vries este unul dintre cei mai apreciati profesori de "leadership development" din lume.
In volumul 36, numarul 3, din 2007 al publicatiei academice Organizational Dynamics, de Vries a publicat articolul numit "Money, money, money". O versiune premergatoare publicarii se gaseste la aceasta adresa:
http://flora.insead.edu/fichiersti/inseadwp2006/2006-45.pdfSpre diferenta de majoritatea articolelor citate pe acest blog, lucrarea lui de Vries se concentreaza asupra materialismului financiar din perspectiva mai mult filosofica decat psihologica. Autorul reuseste din plin sa critice din acest punct de vedere mania imbogatirii, dupa cum vom vedea imediat, punct cu punct.
Despre penibilitatea incercarii de a cumpara un partener" [Some people] think that money can buy anything, including a beautiful woman or a handsome man. But while money can trigger a relationship, it truly can’t buy love. The whole enterprise is counterproductive: if money is used as a relational tool, how much does the `purchaser` really care about the person he or she is `buying`? If a woman is `acquired` to be shown off, that’s just another form of one-upmanship.
Money can’t buy youth, either, though men and women concerned about a decline in physical attractiveness often use their wealth to hook up with a youthful partner who makes them feel younger themselves. In other words, they use money to compensate for aging. For people such as this, `buying' a partner is just a stop-gap measure to fight off depressive feelings. Whether seeking love or youth, some people are prepared to engage in highly destructive and self-destructive activities, as well as spend a fortune, to `buy` the right person. They are willing to do all kinds of things to `possess that perfectly attractive woman or man—things they wouldn't consider doing otherwise. [...]
But can such a collusion ever be the basis for a meaningful relationship? Only very, very occasionally. [...] Thus while money can't buy happiness, it certainly allows you to choose your own form of misery. And although money can't buy love, it improves your bargaining position in the pitilessly competitive sexual race. So what are the origins of the destructive competitiveness that leads to using money as a score card, and as a way to gain recognition?"
Materialismul, generat de complexe din copilarie"We find some answers to this puzzling behavior in the roots of sibling rivalry. A close look at the background of money-scorers reveals that, in many instances, parents were unable early on to sufficiently dampen the competitive feelings between siblings. Unchecked sibling rivalry may have created the pervasive (and sometimes accurate) idea that the other was favored by one or even both of the parents. Because love was not shared equally (either in perception or in reality), it became a precious commodity. The feeling of being insuffiently appreciated caused what psychologists call a narcissistic injury— that is, an injury to a person’s self-esteem—which expressed itself in symptoms such as depressive feelings and feelings of rage, anger, resentment, revenge, and vindication."
Bogatia, daunatoare copiilor"While growing up with no money can be a problem, there can also be too much of a good thing. In fact, as an English proverb states, "an abundance of money ruins youth”—in other words, having lots of money can be detrimental to the healthy development of a child. Often this happens because parents, busy with the acquisition and management of their wealth, alleviate their guilt at not being psychologically available by giving presents and money. In essence, they offer money as a substitute for love.
But can genuine care and love be replaced by money? Not with any hope of healthy development. Money is a poor substitute for love and care. Children raised on this model are generally left with ambivalent feelings toward their caretakers: they are unsure whether their caretakers really care about them; whether they themselves are viewed as lovable. The result is depressive feelings and a great sense of insecurity, beginning in childhood and lasting into adulthood.
Furthermore, these individuals may come to suffer from oniomania (literally, a mania for making purchases), meaning that they ward off lingering feelings of depression by seeking out the temporary highs they feel when spending money. Buying things for themselves makes them feel better. Unfortunately, these good feelings don’t last. They are nothing more than temporary Band-Aids. Because these people, as children, felt temporary, artificial highs when their parents gave them money or gifts, as adults they repeat that pattern. They spend money to feel better, creating an endless cycle of depression and temporary highs.
Money simply cannot give children the inner security and stable sense of self-esteem needed in adulthood. Instead, ironically, it impoverishes them. When money flows too freely, the probability increases that important developmental challenges will not be handled in an age-appropriate manner by either the child or the parent. The complex psychological work that a child has to tackle to grow into a healthy, responsible adult may be lacking. Just as power corrupts, money corrupts. And, to further paraphrase Lord Acton, a lot of money corrupts a lot. It impedes the establishment of deep, meaningful relationships that are the cornerstones of mature, healthy functioning and results in lifelong self-esteem problems and depressive reactions.
Furthermore, when youngsters possess too much money, other people find it difficult to deal with them in a natural manner. What’s more, wealthy kids given a privileged upbringing may have no sense of how the rest of the world lives. Their developmental experiences are too different from those of others. These two factors—their own lack of real-world knowledge and the discomfort other people feel in interacting with them—exacerbate the struggle to establish deep, meaningful relationships.
[...] In addition, the possession of too much money early in life frequently comes at the cost of achievement motivation. Youngsters who do not learn the value of money because it is always available to them do not realize the energy needed to obtain it. If they never learn what earning money takes in terms of their own efforts, they may never appreciate the value of hard work. And the effects go beyond mere finances: many youngsters who have too much money lose the urge to strive, to experiment, to reach out, and to try out new things."
Lacomia de bani, o panta spre minus infinit
"Is there such a thing as a sufficient amount of money? One would think so, but about the time we’re able to make ends meet, somebody moves the ends! Just when we begin to master our money, it gains the upper hand and we become its servants.
One tragedy of human existence is our ability to quickly accommodate ourselves to something we set out to accomplish, and then we become accustomed to and bored with it. In other words, we quickly grow restless with what we have. Evolutionary psychologists have argued that natural selection has conditioned us to quickly adapt to new situations and then strive for a little bit more. According to these theorists, enduring satisfaction with a particular stable state would not be conducive to our survival as a species. We need to be kept on our toes. Following this line of reasoning, some of us end up on a hedonistic treadmill, endlessly motivated by the desire for pleasure and the avoidance of pain. And that treadmill never stops, because human desire is insatiable.
And yet couldn’t we accept these findings from evolutionary psychology and still concede that at some point enough is enough? Why is the concept of "enough so hard to understand? When are we rich enough? When are we successful enough? When are we good enough? Why is it that we can’t pick a moment of comfortable satisfaction and announce to ourselves and the world that we’re stepping off the treadmill?
The needs of the wealthy often undergo a visible shift: first the ladder- climbing executive wants the sports car, then comes the house on the Riviera, and then the private plane. Whatever people in the clutches of Mammon have, it is never enough. They can’t get off the treadmill, and they don’t even want to try, for fear they will get depressed.
And yet this preoccupation with possessions keeps them from truly living. It prevents them from asking what they are doing with their lives. If we really believe that the journey is more important than the destination—a conclusion with which most people concur in principle but ignore in practice—then we need to focus on our "travels rather than on our finances. We need to do things that we enjoy doing and concentrate on the small pleasures of the day. If we focus on finite material achievements, we will experience only a very temporary sense of fulfillment. As we have seen with people who suffer from oniomania, acquiring and spending is only a very short-term antidepressant, one that needs to be constantly replenished. Thus we become like Sisyphus, pushing boulders up the hill, over and over again. Instead of reveling in a gorgeous sunset or enjoying a family dinner, we stay late at the office doing things we dislike, to be able to buy things we don’t need, to impress people we don’t care about. How’s that for irony!"
Materialismul financiar este o pervertire a naturii umane care ne impiedica sa gasim fericirea
" People of great wealth are often the ones who suffer most from boredom, depression, and other psychological ailments. Most satisfaction studies have shown that once the minimum necessities have been met, money doesn’t really bring happiness. As the Greek playwright Euripides eloquently put it, `when a man's stomach is full, it makes no difference whether he is rich or poor`.
What is this elusive happiness that we struggle to buy our way to? Sigmund Freud argued that it is the belated fulfillment of an early childhood wish. Anecdotal evidence seems to support that claim: listen to people’s stories and dreams, and you’ll often hear happiness spoken of in terms of childhood simplicity and togetherness with early caretakers.
As our discussion of early need systems has indicated, money isn’t something that very young children crave. They want to be cuddled; they want their parents and other loved ones to be with them; they want to play and explore; they want to be listened to. Given that from a developmental point of view the pursuit of money is an acquired rather than an inherent need, we shouldn’t be surprised that suddenly coming into a lot of money doesn’t do much for one’s happiness, beyond an incidental, exhilarated mood state. Studies on happiness have shown, for example, that lottery winners, after a temporary high, return very quickly to 渡ormal.
The things that induce a more lasting happiness are far less tangible. People talk about feeling the joy of achievement, the excitement of creative efforts in working with others, the sublimity of religious celebrations, the rightness of a sense of unity with nature. They talk about enjoying their daily work routine and feeling useful and fulfilled on the job (and yes, as a bonus, sometimes making a great deal of money). And finally—perhaps most importantly—they talk about the warmth and closeness of intimate moments with family and friends.
As one wit once said, money may buy you a nice dog, but only love will make it wag its tail. Our true wealth lies in family and friends who care about us, and about whom we care. Having intimate, deep relations is what life is all about. [...]
As I have noted before, money and intimate relationships aren’t easy companions. The very rich are always subject to the danger that people who interact with them will tell them only what they think they want to hear. Psychologists would attribute this to idealizing transference—that is, the universal human tendency to admire powerful people. Money and candor don’t do well together. When people bearing big smiles or gifts approach the very wealthy, the recipients always wonder, Are these people true friends, or are they trying to take advantage of our wealth or power? As the TV personality Oprah Winfrey said, 鏑ots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. A Chinese proverb conveys the same essential message: `the day your horse dies and your money is lost, your relatives become strangers`.
Worse yet, the rich sometimes buy into the idealizing transference themselves. If enough of those sycophants waiting to ride in the limo tell a wealthy man he is the epitome of wisdom or beauty or skill, he may start believing them, all evidence to the contrary. This impaired reality-testing can negatively influence the quality of any interpersonal relationships that remain."
Concluzie
"Unfortunately, when money is seen as a solution to every problem—especially relational problems—money itself can become the problem. Frequently, the price we have to pay for our need for power, security, love, and victory over others through money is our liberty. Although wealth is often seen as the road to freedom, obtaining it can turn out to be the road to slavery. Instead of finding freedom through money, we become the prisoners of money, because it cannot bring us the control or the vindication or the peace of mind we seek. Like the Holy Grail, it remains compelling but elusive."
La 1 noiembrie 2007 scriam ca placeri gratuite precum o baie, un pui de somn si o plimbare in parc sunt lucrurile care aduc cea mai mare fericire in viata, potrivit unui studiu realizat de cercetatorii de la Universitatea din Nottingham.
